December 2011
155 posts
4 tags
Dec 1st
28 notes
2 tags
i’m going to market a new scent called ‘interns in my office’ and all you have to do is not fucking shower.
Dec 1st
1 note
Dec 1st
13,549 notes
2 tags
my brother: do you think when david attenborough is in the soundbooth and pronounces izores "eezorz" the producers call him out? then he responds "i'm david attenborough bitches! i'll pronounce things how i want and you will like it!"
5 minutes later: he just said pani-MA, he is just screwing with us right?
Dec 1st
November 2011
111 posts
1 tag
to women from a man: you are not "crazy" →
you can bet your ass my boyfriend will be receiving a copy of this one.
Nov 30th
2 notes
Nov 30th
405 notes
forcis asked: {:
Nov 30th
2 tags
“cbs is making the BIGGEST MISTAKE OF THEIR LIVES by showing those old christmas...”
– my dad
Nov 30th
3 tags
Nov 30th
1 note
Nov 30th
4,539 notes
2 tags
well
big bang theory is actually pretty funny.
Nov 30th
2 notes
1 tag
Nov 30th
1 note
Nov 29th
42 notes
Nov 29th
15,533 notes
Nov 29th
1,189 notes
nosebleedhooligans asked: Also, I'm not really flying to Bolivia.
Nov 28th
1 tag
fuck mann
tonight i’m laying in bed watching seinfeld with the dude. and my septum ring falls out. not out onto the bed, out and up into my nasal cavity. tyler doesn’t think it could have possibly gone UP my nose, so we tear up the bed looking for it. but sure enough, i can feel it right in there. so i just have to lean forward and blow my nose really hard until it pops out. i’m not gonna...
Nov 28th
Nov 27th
153 notes
Nov 27th
28,094 notes
4 tags
Nov 27th
11 notes
2 tags
sometimes i want to strangle tyler because so often he’s such a pain in my ass. but then he gets sleepy & buries his stupid head into my neck & i think “meow at me all you want, weird boy, you are perfect.”
Nov 27th
1 tag
Nov 27th
3 tags
“skinny girls look good in clothes, but curvy girls look great naked.”
– cherie lily
Nov 27th
Nov 27th
197,214 notes
Nov 26th
11 notes
Nov 26th
327 notes
Nov 26th
1,056 notes
3 tags
Nov 26th
2 notes
1 tag
Nov 26th
1 note
2 tags
Nov 26th
14 notes
1 tag
just tried for 10 minutes to open a beer without a bottle opener.  turns out it’s a twist off bottle. so that means now i can have like 4 right
Nov 26th
1 note
Nov 25th
1 note
2 tags
Nov 24th
5 notes
3 tags
Nov 24th
2 notes
3 tags
Nov 24th
8 notes
Nov 24th
1 tag
Nov 23rd
1,003 notes
2 tags
Nov 23rd
1 note
1 tag
got a head full of lightning
and a hat full of rain
Nov 23rd
1 note
2 tags
Nov 23rd
1 tag
Nov 22nd
15 notes
Nov 22nd
2,201 notes
1 tag
left the house this morning thinking i had forgotten something.  i’m fully dressed, i had breakfast, fed the kitty, brushed my teeth..  OH. forgot to do my fucking hair.  happy fucking monday.
Nov 21st
3 tags
Nov 21st
2 tags
Nov 21st
30 notes
1 tag
Nov 21st
7 notes
1 tag
Nov 20th
11 notes
2 tags
Listenmy jam all weekend
Nov 20th
6 notes
Nov 20th
1 note
Nov 20th
1,549 notes